THE LEAST SEXIEST MAN ALIVE ANNOUNCED

Matt Case - November 9th - 5:39am PST 

NEW YORK (AP) — In a cheeky twist on a popular annual tradition, the humor magazine Other People has awarded its tongue-in-cheek accolade of "Least Sexiest Man Alive" to Larry Dingle, a 53-year-old actuary from Jupiter, Florida 

The unconventional award, established in 2017, playfully counters the "Sexiest Man Alive" title bestowed by People magazine. This year's honoree, announced Tuesday, was chosen from a global pool of submissions where friends and family nominated candidates based on their endearingly unsexy qualities, such as "outstanding dad jokes," "spectacularly average fashion sense," and "undeniable knack for falling asleep at parties."

Dingle, a father of three and self-proclaimed "king of the cargo shorts," won over the judges with his obliviousness to modern style trends and his earnest passion for spreadsheet organization, which he showcased in an online viral video earlier this year. According to Other People’s editors, "Larry has that uncanny ability to be so comfortably uncool that it circles back to being cool."

While the award is all in good fun, it also carries a message. "We want to celebrate the everyday person," explained Jordan Green, editor-in-chief of Other People. "Attractiveness is subjective, and in Larry, we see the beauty of the authentic self, a man who is sexy precisely because he isn't trying to be."

Dingle, for his part, is taking his new title in stride. "I never imagined I’d be recognized for my lack of sex appeal, but here we are," he said, chuckling. "I hope this shows people that it's okay to just be yourself, even if that self loves knee-high socks with sandals."

The announcement came complete with a photo shoot featuring Dingle in his natural habitat: grilling in the backyard, managing fantasy football drafts, and performing his infamous "dad dance" moves at a local community event.

While Other People's award may not have the same glamour as its counterpart, it’s quickly become a celebrated moment of levity and a reminder that sex appeal is far from a one-size-fits-all concept.

This is a satirical comedic piece written as a parody for entertainment purposes